Things to steal

I’m over thirty years old now, and I often find myself thinking, Wow, if thieves broke into my home, they’d just leave. I literally have nothing valuable even worth stealing. I mean, sure, my wife and I both have fairly decent computers, that’s something. But not really what I’m talking about. I want to have a secret safe hidden behind a picture with valuable…..things……in it. But what valuable things? What do people have that’s so valuable that it’s actually worth keeping in a safe?

And then I decided to convert and become Jewish, and all of that changed.

Being Jewish, almost FORCES you into buying nice, elaborate, VALUABLE things. It’s a mitzvah, if something is required for a religious purpose, that it be as ornate and decorative as possible.

For years, we used disposable plastic plates as our primary kitchen-ware. You know, not the Styrofoam plates, but those cheap plastic plates that usually come out around the summer time. The type where you buy ten plates for a dollar. Those were our regular everyday plates. We started with them when we first began celebrating Shabbat, but you very VERY quickly realize that you need nicer plates for such an occasion. Shabbat dinner isn’t for those cheap plastic plates, and this is painfully obvious from day one. So, now…we have a cheap set of actual dishes. Two in fact, since we keep somewhat kosher in our home (a meat set of plates and a dairy set). Now, they’re nothing extravagant. They’re just about the cheapest (but nicest) sets we could find. But still, we have multiple sets of actual glass dishes now! And that’s just because it’s all we can afford as there is SO MUCH that we need now. Eventually we’ll get nicer. Here’s a picture of our actual plates (one from each set):

What next you ask? Well, my wife bakes two loaves of challah every single week, so a nice challah dish ($10 from Goodwill!!!!!) and cover is an obvious next purchase.

This was actually preceded by a few different candle-stick holders (also from Goodwill), as the lighting of the candles is also such a big deal.

And what now you ask? Well, we haven’t purchased much else yet, but my mother, who is a christian and is fanatical about extravagant Christmases, we’re fairly certain, has purchased us a rather lavish menorah. We very soon will also be purchasing a much cheaper Menorah as Channukah happens before Christmas.

In the works: mezuzah, those things that go on the doorways. We’ve seen some really nice lavish looking ones that aren’t too expensive. A kiddush cup set, and a nicer havdalah set (we have a cheap havdalah set now).

Eventually, I’ll want a tallit, possibly even teffilin, more kippah (mine is black, I should have a white one for yom kippur). And then we can finally start talking about books. We have a tanakh, but my wife needs one also. And of course other Jewish books. THere’s lots out there. I’m not sure if you purchase a talmud or what? But, I know there’s a lot of Jewish literature out there. Some of the required reading during our conversion process has been very enlightening and enjoyable. I thoroughly appreciate that there are other people out there that have spent large amounts of time thinking LOGICALLY on religious topics that interest me.

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